Invisible enemies
When we think of enemies, we think of enemies that we can
see. But what about the ones we can’t see? Our invisible enemies can do more
harm to us then the enemies we can see. I mean, if we can see them, we can
protect ourselves from them. We don’t run up to the enemies we can see and
spill our life story, be vulnerable, and ask them for a hug. No, we close
ourselves off from them. It’s the invisible ones that we have to watch out for.
What are your invisible enemies? Close your eyes and think about things that
bring you down, make you feel bad, or sabotage your dreams. What did you come up?
Here are a few invisible enemies that might be lurking
around.
1. Undermining colleagues or friends. Watch out for those who
want to know everything that is going on with you. This person might seem like
a friend but really isn’t. Before I went into higher education, I was an
elementary school teacher. My first teaching job out of college, I was assigned
a mentor. I was new and trying to do my best but struggling in my new role,
hard core. I would share my struggles with my mentor and these struggles were
also shared with other people and eventually used against me. I didn’t keep my
cards close to my chest. I shared my hand with those around me. If you have colleagues or friends that are sharing other
people’s information, it’s a good probability that they are also sharing yours.
Once it’s out there, you can’t take it back. Be careful what you share with
other because it may be used against you in the long run.
2. Confidence. This may be different for other
people but I have seen a lot of women, including myself, that suffer from our own
stereotypes. Sometimes, when we are not confident in ourselves, we start to
judge people based on our lack of confidence. This only brings us down. It
limits our own potential and the impact of what we can accomplish. Let’s stop
that now and be a champion for those around us! I just started tapping. For those of you like me that didn't know what tapping was until today, here is a brief overview. You tap certain pressure points on your hands, arm, and head and meditate at the same time. It's extremely interesting and I challenge you to try it. You can download it in any app store. I just completed day 1 of an 8 day "You Are Enough" tapping meditation challenge. This mediation is meant to help build confidence by knowing you are enough and to stop being so dang hard on ourselves.
3. Boundaries. In most professions, we talk about
work life balance a lot. Many of our jobs require us to work outside of the
traditional work hours. Some jobs require traditional hours plus the random
late nights and weekends without getting compensated for it. We just say, “it’s
just part of the job.” Stop that now! It is not. Set boundaries. Talk to your
supervisor. Have a conversation with your staff about boundaries and what needs
to be setup so you and your staff can be the best version of themselves. The
boundaries can be as simple as how they want to be addressed in the office or
an understanding of flex time if they are working late. It could also be, not
answering phone calls or emails after work or when lunch should be taken. When
I was working from home, I discussed with my supervisor a new boundary I was
setting. My home was now my office, gym all around a hodge podge space. I was
setting a hard boundary of not being on my work computer after the end of the
work day. This helped me to adjust to the new norm. Boundaries can be adjusted
overtime and are different for you and your colleagues. This can also be the case for relationships. Maybe you have a significant other that you just need some space from or you have a friend that is always calling. Create boundaries so you can be your best self. Be respectful of what
boundaries are set.
4. Burnout. Yeah, you read that correctly. Burnout is real. It can come and go frequently. It’s beneficial to know what triggers you to burnout. For me, it is constant micromanagement or people checking in all the time. I struggled so much to overcome it that it just burnt me out. Sometimes, the burnout feeling would go away for a bit when the micromanagement subsided and then would come back when the micromanagement increased. Find out what makes you feel burnt out. When you start to become triggered, do something to offset it. Create a list of things that will renew you. Call a friend, go to the batting cages, sit at the beach. I am not sure if it’s just me but something about a beach. The smell. The water. It just calms me down and renews my spirit. Whatever that is for you, do that when the burnout feeling is coming.
Now, I am not an expert of invisible enemies. In fact, the only thing I am an expert in is being me. You may think you to yourself, “self, these don’t sound like my invisible enemies” and that is fine. Think about what enemies, personally and professionally, that sneak up on you and how they impact your normally scheduled life. I say normally scheduled because a lot of what is going on now, isn’t normal and we are doing our hardest to make it through.
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