Empowerment and living a life of positivity

Guest blogger: Jilique Eikleberry

When I think about empowerment and positivity for my girls, my first reaction is, “am I really doing what I (so-to-speak) preach?” The last few years have been a period of growth for me personally & spiritually, but I know I still have a lifelong course of lessons to figure out. Was I really someone who could write anything on it? (see the self doubt and head trash coming out)?! That’s when I knew--anytime those trash-talkers come into earshot, it’s a sign you’re on the right track. Still, it left me thinking. How am I helping to empower my kids?

For them to see failure. To not only know that failure is OK but that it is expected. Dare I say...celebrated? And to see not only the failing, but the getting back up. Being honest with our stories and our ‘face down’ moments. 

During the at-home Covid-19 mandate, I was home with my 2 girls while my husband was out of state working and not allowed to return. Running a business, teaching my 6 year old with distance learning, and still trying to maintain a household--it was tiring, fun, hard, amazing--everything life could be balled up into a mountain of emotions. 

One particularly hard day that I’m not proud of, I was at my wits end. Before bed, I sat my girls down and had an open, honest conversation about why I was frustrated and how I had let them down. It was definitely a ‘face-down’ moment. But letting them see my failure and hear how I was going to show up better helped them own their mistakes and together we came up with a plan how we could all do more for each other.  

Our kids need to grow up seeing that failure, and having the open dialogue about it, is the only way for success to unfold. And not just monetary success but in all areas of life. Failing can be scary, no doubt. It is feeling the fear and having the courage to do it anyway. To go into the ring, fall face down, and rise strong from it. But how do we have the courage? How can we feel empowered? Where does it start?

It starts with me. It starts with you. It starts with showing up for life and working on the person you want to be. It’s knowing your self worth and accepting you are enough just as you are (even as you strive to be that better version).  I know as a parent sometimes I think I’m showing my kids the examples I want them to personify, but in reality, there are times I fall short. 

I want my 2 girls to be proud and love their bodies. At this age (6 & 3) their only opinion of their bodies is from what they see and hear around them. I am getting better, but there are times I catch myself looking in the mirror and mumbling things I would never, ever utter to my girls. (so why do we think it’s OK to say it to ourselves! smh) But they are watching. So many times when I’m saying those words to myself I see my oldest staring at me, taking it all in. And it is in that moment I delete those negative comments and tell myself--literally out loud--I love my strong body and am proud of it! My daughter giggles and shrugs it off like I’m crazy. But I know I’m showing her what it looks like to mess up, evaluate, and edit. Because in every area of life that is what it comes down to. Messing up, taking a breath to evaluate and figure it out then edit and change what the outcome looks like. That is having the fear and the courage to see our faults and the ability to improve. 

A few years ago my daughter came home from playing with a friend and said, “Mom, I’m so stupid”. This literally took my breath away. I had no idea where that would come from. Right then and there, I began to implement their nightly I AM routine. Both my girls recite: “I am a happy, healthy, smart, beautiful, brave, girl.”

 

In the morning before school, I have them say “Today is going to be a great day because I’m great!” I AM statements are so powerful. Think about it. “I’m always late”/ “I’m not a reader” / “I’m a terrible cook”/ “I’m bad at math”, etc, etc. These are the statements we tell ourselves over and over throughout our whole lives. We live with a belief that these are the things that define us. With a few positive affirmations, we can begin to turn that around. Obviously you don’t want to lie to your subconscious--it won’t believe you either. Instead of “I am on time” try “Because I value my time and the time of others, I arrive early to all the events in my life.” 

See how it can flip the switch on what we’re telling our subconscious?  When we say these over and over we’ll show up in life the way our brain tells us to. 

Now, I want to be clear I am by no means perfect. But I know that living and leading a life of positivity and empowerment for my girls starts with me. I am a work in progress but I can give what I’m still learning to my girls. 

We are all here for a purpose. Find your worth, feed your purpose, feel the love and fling it everywhere like it’s f***ing confetti! I am working to give that same feeling to my kids, and subsequently, my community and the world. I hope you can find a nugget of value mixed in here and live your life in light and love! 

Check out Jilique's Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/203287277439347/?ref=share