It’s ok to not know!
As I sit here at the kitchen table in my parent’s house, I
keep saying to myself, it’s all going to be ok. It’s ok to not know what’s
going to happen. I have the right to sit in these feelings and feel them. I just
can’t stay there too long. I almost feel like I am trying to prove something to
someone. I recently said something similar to my mom. She asked me who is
telling me these things. Who is that someone? I’ve realized that someone is me.
I hold myself to such a high standard and I am starting to get tired. I know my
parents don’t care if I become a Dean at a university. I know that my nieces and
nephew don’t care that I have my own place to live and I know that my friends
don’t care that I am single and my cats don’t care what I do as long as I come
back to feed them! What they all do care about is that I am happy. So, let’s
all stop being so hard on ourselves to prove something that we may not even
want. Let’s stop and enjoy the moments. It’s ok to not know what the next step
is. Having faith in God is where it’s all at. He’s got this so why are we
trying to control things. I am sure he’s sitting up there with my grandparents
just laughing and saying, just wait until you see what I have in store for you.
Big plans Jodi Jabs. I’ve got big plans for you and it’s ok that you don’t know
them. Just have faith!
What I do know is I am going to soak up every moment I have
back in Minnesota with my friends and family. Who knows what the next step is
and where it will lead me to? I sure don’t and I am starting to be ok with that.
What I do know is that I am going to
finish baking this surprise cake for my nephew’s birthday. It’s a four-layer
cake with a candy surprise!! I am going to mow my brother’s lawn and help clean
out the medicine cabinets at my grandparent’s farmhouse and continue to take
care of my one eyed (foster?) kitten! (I think he found his furever home with
us!) I might even try my hand at making my Grandma Jabs’ dill pickles. It might
not be much but it means a lot to those around me.
Smile and stay blessed!




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