Let go of the expectation.

So, I have been very open with my struggles over the last year and this blog post will be no different. I have been struggling with something for the past six months. It was something that I knew was going to happen but I still play it over in my head. It's the what ifs. The other night, I was talking with my friend, Dave, about relationships. I have known Dave since I lived in Indiana, so about 4 years. We reconnected recently and have been supportive of each other and what God has put in our lives. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened between Dave and I had I stayed in Indiana. He told me that he has thought about it too! (Again, the what ifs.) The other night, I was going to a Twins game with my friend and his kids and Dave and I chatted a few minutes before the game. He asked me if I believe that God has everything under control or if I felt that I needed to step in and control it myself. We all know what the correct answer is but I said to him, "honestly, I know it should be the first one but honestly, I feel like I need to be in control. He chuckled and said, I appreciate your honesty. Then he challenged me to surrender and trust God and we prayed before I headed to the game. How fun is it to have a friend that you can be that vulnerable with! I am blessed to have a few. 

Today, I was sitting in church and I reached out to Dave during the sermon and asked for prayers. I feel like I have so much going for me. I see a lot of brightness and excitement for the future but I keep looking back and stumbling. As soon as I hit send, the Pastor shared Ephesian 4:23-24 "to be made new in the attitude of your minds: and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness." Now, if that isn't God speaking to me about moving forward and being my new self, I don't know what is! When Dave responded, he told me to lean into the scripture of Proverbs 3:5-6, "trust in the Lord with all your heart. Do not depend on your own understanding. See His will in all that you do and He will show you which path to take."

This past week, I was invited to eat dinner in the dark. If you know me, I don't turn stuff like this down. (It wasn't on my list of things to accomplish in my 37in37 but it will be added!) I did have to sit out a week for softball, which is NOT something I do. Here's what I learned. When you aren't in control, things can turn out great! I wasn't in control of the food options I was given (with the exception of seafood, meat, or vegetarian). This was such a great experience. I had so much fun and I am so grateful for my brother. He traded his molten chocolate lava cake for my crème brule! He's such a great brother! Being blindfolded allowed my other senses to kick in. I wasn't checking my phone every 5 seconds. I was fully engaged with the experience. That's what we need to do with God. We need to allow Him to be in control. I'll work on surrendering it all to God and in the meantime, I will be praying for His guidance over my life, over the future, the job, and the person He has picked out for me. I will also pray for patience because it's in His time, not mine. For now, I will enjoy this life He has given me! 

Take what you need from this blog and use it to inspire your life in ways that you didn't expect. Release the expectation of what life should be and make it your own, whatever that might look like for you! At the end of the day, I just want to inspire people to live the life that they want, be happy, and be a good human!

Dinner in the dark! I didn't spill anything!

The whole group! My brother Michael, sister McKenzie, and their friend Heather!