More Than a Season

Singleness, Faith, and Finding Purpose in the In-Between

I recently listened to a sermon at my church, Hosanna, by Pastor Jenn Alexander that really struck me. She spoke about relationships romantic, familial, friendships, and community and said something that stayed with me:

“Every relationship in our lives is an opportunity to grow in love.”

That line made me pause. Because when I think back on my last relationship, I can honestly say that’s exactly what it was, an opportunity to grow. It was a meaningful, to me,  and joyful season that stretched me in new ways. God used it to refine me, teaching me more about who I am and deepening my understanding of connection and love and I’m still learning every day.

Jesus deeply valued and intentionally prioritized relationships. He spent His ministry building community teaching, healing, breaking bread with others, and showing compassion. And I’ve realized that through faith, I’ve started to prioritize relationships in ways I never did before. I’m more intentional now with who I spend time with, who speaks into my life, and who I pour back into.

I participated in a small group study this year called Practicing the Way. In the study, it shared a visual that perfectly captures this perspective on connection:

• 5 loved ones

• 15 good friends

• 50 friends

• 150 meaningful contacts

• 500 acquaintances

• 1,500 people you can recognize

When I looked at this, I had to ask myself: Who’s in my circle? Who am I letting speak into my heart and shape my days? I value my time and who I spend it with. I’m no longer spending it with whoever just because. Every person I allow into my world impacts my growth and I want that growth to reflect love, peace, and purpose.

How God Uses Singleness

The Bible is filled with stories of people God used powerfully while they were single, for example Paul, Mary Magdalene, Daniel, Ruth before Boaz. Their singleness wasn’t a void; it was a vessel.

Paul even said in 1 Corinthians 7:7,

“But I wish everyone were single, just as I am.”

He saw his singleness not as a limitation, but as a gift. An opportunity to serve God fully, without distraction. And I’ve started asking myself the same question: How is God using me in my singleness? Where is He placing me to serve, to lead, to love?

Singleness is hard. But so is marriage. There are so many forms of being single, divorce, the death of a spouse, choosing not to marry, or, in my case, simply not yet finding the right partner. And yes, it can be painful when your heart longs for someone to walk beside you.

And let’s be honest, people love to play matchmaker. For some reason, when people know two single individuals, they automatically assume it’s a perfect match.

NEWSFLASH: It’s not.

There’s so much more that goes into a meaningful, Christ-centered relationship than just both being single. Compatibility, values, faith, and timing all matter along with allergies to animals! . It’s not about filling a spot. It’s about finding someone who complements your calling, not distracts from it.

But God also didn’t design us to do life alone. He designed us for community and I’m learning that while I may not have a spouse right now, I do have meaningful relationships that fill my life with love, laughter, and purpose.

As my friend Erin said in her letter read during the sermon, “It’s a call on my life to be single right now.” That hit me deeply. Because whether it’s for a lifetime or just a season, there’s purpose in it.

Freedom, Fulfillment, and Faith

Just because I’m single doesn’t mean my life is unfulfilled. In fact, it’s full of blessings and like my Alpha Sigma Alpha values instilled, I’m living it to the ultimate good.

Erin also mentioned how being single gives her freedom to spend money and time differently. I couldn’t agree more. My dad once asked my older brother how I could afford to travel. He replied that I don’t have kids! Someone with kids might spend $1,000 on their kids’ hockey league. I might use that same $1,000 to book a flight to somewhere new and incredible because for me, travel is how I connect with God’s creation and rediscover joy.

I can invest in people differently too. I can drop everything to have dinner with a friend, spend a weekend with my nieces and nephew, or on lazy nights eat chips and salsa for dinner (a habit I picked up in grad school, thanks Allison!).

The responsibility is different. The pace is different. But it’s not lesser.

I’m not wishing this season away. Though honestly, it’s felt like the longest season ever. Still, I know who I am, what I value, and what I want in my future. I’m ready for what comes next, but I’m not rushing God’s timing.

Final Reflection

Singleness isn’t a waiting room. It’s a mission field. It’s where God grows your faith, deepens your self-awareness, and refines your capacity to love. So, for now, I’m embracing this chapter by traveling boldly, loving fiercely, and trusting fully. Because even in this season, God is writing a beautiful story.